It’s perfectly natural to benchmark ourselves against our peers. This starts at a very early age. School children receive good grades for academic achievement and win trophies for athletic performance. Later on people compete to get into certain schools or work at certain companies. Then it’s competing for a certain job title or social status. Competition starts early and never really stops.
If you turn on an NFL football game you can see just how passionate fans are about their team. Bizarre costumes, chants and celebrations highlight the enthusiasm of the most die hard fans. In some sense we’re all this way. Competition touches us all. It’s wound deeply into our genetic code and it’s unlikely that we will shed the competitive urge anytime soon.
Perhaps the greatest thing about weight loss is that it’s a zero sum game! There are no winners or losers. In theory everyone can be at the body weight they want. Or on the other hand nobody could be at their desired body weight. The reality is person A’s weight does nothing to affect person B’s weight and vice versa. Nobody has to compete against someone else to reach their desired body weight.
When competition enters the domain of weight loss it can lead down one of two undesirable paths. First, it can lead to despair. If we are trying to weigh as much as someone else or lose more weight than someone else it might not even be reasonable. Everyone has an appropriate body weight range according to a BMI or Body Mass Index. Going much below this range is probably as unhealthy psychologically as it is physically.
On the other end of the spectrum, if you are bench-marking your body weight against someone who is overweight it’s going to leave you underachieving what you are truly capable of. Not to mention you will probably be overweight as well.
One critical component of weight loss that people tend to get wrong is their vision. Many people believe that a vision is losing 10 pounds. Losing 10 pounds falls more into the category of a goal. To me a vision is an identity or purpose that won’t change based on how much you weigh. It’s best to have an overarching vision and then within that vision you can have goals to help mark your progress.
One of the biggest mistakes people make when defining their vision is turning it into a competitive dynamic. I’ve said before that it’s perfectly fine to let others inspire you or show you what’s possible but beyond that other people shouldn’t have anything to do with how much you weigh.
In some cases the desire to compete with others over body weight, or in a larger sense body image, can be borderline obsessive. This form of competition is never healthy and never ends in a positive outcome. Keep the natural tendency to compete separate from your body weight. Instead, internalize your focus and ask yourself constructive questions. Ask what you would be like if you were operating at your full potential or ask what you are truly capable of. That will keep the focus on you and your aspirations will always be attainable.
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